PDA’ers, whether they are 2 years old or 82, truly need and believe in freedom, flexibility, and fairness.
Freedom – watching my daughter & listening to her, I have often heard her say “I just want to be free”. So, I prefer to think of PDA as ‘an innate drive or desire to be free’. Sometimes the popular phrase of ‘an anxiety driven need to remain in control’ doesn’t always fit for me.
Flexibility – I believe that PDA’ers have their ‘eye on the prize’ and would prefer it if things go their way or get done how they want it. You might be able to negotiate somewhat if your skills are that of a world class adjudicator. However, if you meet rigidity with rigidity, then there is very little wriggle room and often there WILL be friction (to put it mildly).
Fairness – in our house we are all equal. I was told recently that “she is a child and must know her place”. No comment! Whilst we can discuss with her the merits and science etc. of going to sleep earlier than we do or why Mum and Dad get to share a bed (obviously only if she doesn’t need us to co-sleep) then in our house we all get served by her the same size piece of chocolate cake!